As I sat in a lounge chair and the 4pm setting sun, on my 49th birthday, I contemplated how I would frame this journal entry. A first for me. Something I have thought about doing for 10+ years. No exaggeration there. I am challenging myself by finally get going on this, as there is no time to waste. At the same time, I vow to be patient and kind, to the sensitive and creative artist within, myself, as I indulge in the desire to create meaning and beauty out of chaos...
So a funny thing just happened in the sauna here at the historic Gellert thermal spa in Budapest, Hungary. I’m by myself for some much needed self-care. But I'm surrounded by people who are together and have also come for the healing properties of water. I entered the sauna and there were about ten random strangers in a very small, wooden, hot room. Pink with sweat. As I enter I think to myself how deafeningly quiet it is. All these strangers sitting in a hot room, together, quiet. It felt weird. And I thought to myself, “I wish there were some music to break the silence.” And then I thought, “what if I broke out into song?” But I don’t. That’s too, too weird. Right? But then I think, "you’re wasting an opportunity." Still, I stay quiet. Drip.
Not more than a few moments later, a few more random people enter and there’s two together, a man and a woman, and the woman says (in an American accent) as she sits down on the bench, “there should be some music, somebody sing!” Obviously, the weird quiet among strangers was too much for her too. Yet her request was answered in silence from all the hot and sweaty strangers. Then she looks up at the clock hanging on the wall, past my left shoulder and says to her partner, “oh , it’s 3:32.” As if the time mattered. But I knew right then I was meant to sing.
So I took a deep breath, looked around at the unsuspecting strangers and said out loud, “I’m going to take that as a cue.”
And the woman said “yes, a brave someone!”
So I introduced myself. I said I’m a filmmaker from the United States in Hungary making a documentary film about Hungarian horses in America. I told them that the title of my film is Horse✨Diamonds and that they can find out more at "HorseDiamondsFilm(dot)com" I explained that I sing and put my music into my films and I would sing them a song from the film and then leave.
And so I sang! To all the sweaty strangers in the hot sauna. Whew! And as quickly as I began, I ended.
They were very kind as they burst out into applause and said how very special that was. Bravo! Then I jokingly curtsied and then left quickly as I said I would. As I exited I heard the American woman say, “all right who’s next?”
Outside I jumped into a tank of cold water. Relieved I followed through and proud of myself for putting myself out there and though it’s hard to (shamelessly) promote myself and my work. Who else will do it?
This truly was a test. I think I passed.
XOKRose
You can hear the song I sang at the beginning of my Seed & Spark campaign video -
Follow along as I share adventures while making HORSE✨DIAMONDS. Go to HorseDiamondsFilm.com and select - "Get Involved" from the menu and fill out the STAY IN TOUCH portion. Thanks!